Why don't we just pretend?
by captaainswaan
Summary: CS AU. What happens when Killian Jones needs Emma Swan's help to get the money his dead aunts will before his brother. Fake Dating AU.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

This morning was spectacular. First he got the news that rich great aunt Ursula died,then found out he was in her will. This afternoon was a different story.

"It says here that you can't get the money until you're married , I don't know what else to tell you,"

And this is how he ended up speaking to Emma Swan. It should be noted that Killian has only spoken to Emma five times. Once to say Good Morning, another to give her her mail, then he found her son, Henry, in his apartment. Emma Swan is a woman of few words he has noticed. He has also noticed that she was struggling to get by. He thought that this money might be able to not only save his company but help her out too. It was a full proof plan, be engaged for a month, married until the money can come in then, stay together for a month until they have a quick divorce and be a few thousand dollars richer each.

He didn't know what he was in for clearly.

"What do you mean you want to get married?" Emma Swan snapped shutting the door to her apartment and facing him in the hallway.

"I mean, I need your help and that means we should get married," Killian said but then quickly shook his head and tried speaking again, she made him nervous. "My great aunt died and i'm in her will and basically I won't be able to get my hands on it until I get married, but I have to get married before my brother to gets it. My brother with the long term girlfriend."

"You want to marry me for money?" The blonde woman asked laughing a little and leaning on the door frame. "What's in it for me?"

"You're interested?" Killian asked hopeful.

"I think you're insane but I want to know how much you've thought this through,"

"Quite thoroughly actually," Killian said only now realizing that he should be embarrassed, but he wasn't oddly enough. "As for what's in it for you, half of the spoils,"

"You sound like a pirate," Emma quipped and he felt like she was sizing him up.

"Well essentially what we are doing is illegal anyways," Killian shrugged, crossed his arms and waited.

She laughed loud and right in his face.

"You're fucking insane," she said through her laughs. "No, i'm serious, I don't even know you, who the fuck are you?"

"My name is-"

"No, I know that but like what the hell is up with you?"

Killian didn't answer. Emma smiled at him.

"Look, i'll help you-" she raised a finger silencing him "but you have to tell me how much money we're talking here?"

"Close to a million dollars."

Emma's eyes widened. Then her voice dropped to a whisper.

"You're serious about this?"

He nodded and watched as Emma made a decision. Her eyes flickered all over his face and she pressed her lips tightly together. She stopped leaning on the door some time ago, but Killian failed to notice. Her hand was hanging above the doorknob and she stared at him for awhile before opening it.

"I'll help you if my son likes you, if not, you'll have to find someone else to be your wife,"

"Ah, but Miss Swan I had my heart set on you."

Killian didn't know what he had expected from Emma's apartment. It was smaller than his, cozier, he presumes. They walked down the narrow hallway where he was instructed to put his shoes in the closet. Following closely behind Emma, half expecting to be murdered, Killian took the time to appreciate her home. Pictures were on practically every wall and artwork too. It was nice, Killian had never really been anywhere where family was the main principle in it.

"Henry?" Emma said sitting beside her son at the coffee table. She noticed Killian standing awkwardly around so she motioned for him to sit in front of them. He quickly plopped himself down and waited for her to say anything.

"Mom, i'm busy doing my homework that you refused to help me on," Henry spoke quickly and didn't look up from his paper once.

"I didn't refuse to help you, Henry, I told you-"

"I'm not a baby anymore Mom-" Henry looked up from his work his cheeks turning pink the minute he locked eyes with the man in his apartment. "Why is he here?"

"This is Killian," Emma introduced them and waited for a response.

"Yeah I know, I remember breaking into his apartment,"

"What?" Killian said coughing as he choked on his own spit.

"I mean accidentally entered your home, with force?" Henry said shrugging and looking at his homework.

"What would you say about Killian and I dating?" Emma smiled at her son and Killian couldn't help but notice how tender it was.

Henry's face fell and he looked at Killian and his mother.

"Your dating?" Henry said and Killian noticed Emma look at him before answering.

"I was just asking if you'd be okay with it,"

"Does he make you happy?" Henry inquired and Killian watched as Emma flashed him a look and responded with a timid "sure,"

"Then go ahead, I guess," Henry quirked an eyebrow towards Killian.

"I have homework," Henry said picking up the pen he was writing with before.

"Is that you giving us your blessing?"

"Sure,"

Killian smiled. Emma picked up a dirty plate and walked into the kitchen, like a puppy Killian followed behind her.

"So? What's next?" Emma asked while turning on the tap and starting to wash the dishes.

"I have a plan," Killian said drying the dishes, without being asked Emma noted. "We get eloped fast and quick, then we get the money, split it, divorce, boom, and we don't have to drag anybodies family into it."

"Wait- I watched The Proposal once-"

"No, I'm sorry, this is nothing like The Proposal," Killian shook his head and placed the plate on the drying rack.

"Yeah, if it was you'd be Ryan Reynolds, and obviously you aren't."

Killian put the plate down.

"Did you just call me ugly?"

"I said you don't look like Ryan Reynolds." Emma handed him another plate and leaned over to place the plate he put on the table in the drying rack giving Killian a whiff of her hair. Coconuts.

"So! Like I was saying, they had to fool everyone and then she got to stay in America,"

"Except she didn't, she fell in love with him and ruined the entire thing," Killian corrected absentmindedly.

"You watched The Proposal?" Emma said excitedly turning off the tap and wiping her hands on her jeans.

"Of course I did, how did you think I did my research?" Emma's laugh filled the room, she was enchanting, Killian quickly realized.

"This plan came from that movie?" she placed a hand on the counter and another on her heart. "You're not serious right?"

"It's going to be an amazing plan, Swan trust me,"

"I guess i'll have to at this point," The blonde said watching her son who was staring down his family tree.

"It's the stupid family tree project thing they have to do and he doesn't have anything to fill in for his dad," Emma shook her head.

" I was like him at his age, sort of," Killian tried to tell Emma without giving away his life story, they weren't friends he had to remind himself, they had only just met. But he felt comfortable with her, and he knew she felt comfortable with him too. "I knew my father and I knew he wasn't a good man, but I still wanted to know about him." Killian shrugged.

"I just worry," she told him and then proceeded to tell him that they'd talk tomorrow and exchanged phone numbers. Emma sighed once she shut the door. It was crazy, there wasn't anything else to say either then that. Emma liked to pretend that she wasn't desperate, and that she wasn't jealous of Killian when they first met, he owned a successful company and was well off - but apparently not anymore right? If hes that desperate for money then surely he can't be rich. Maybe hes greedy? Doesn't matter. If he can give her money, Emma thinks to herself, then she will go along with it. He must've known she was desperate anyways, otherwise he wouldn't have asked her.

After Henry went to sleep Emma broke into the liquor cabinet and poured herself a drink logged into facebook and looked up Neal Cassidy, Henry's father. Who had no idea he existed anyway.

She took another sip.

Emma didn't know what she would get out of this. Oh and hes engaged and happy and Emma is single and sad.

Except she wasn't.

Standing up from her chair, contemplating bringing the wine with her, and walking down the hall to wake up Killian. This was a perfect idea! She knocked the door once, then twice. Rolling her eyes she hit the door with her fist.

"Killian Jones! Open the goddamn door!" She hollered as she pounded the door. Before she even realized the door swung open and her fist collided with a ridiculously toned chest.

"Bloody Hell" Killian took a step back and both of his hands went to where she hit him. "What the hell are you doing?" he asked as Emma walked into his apartment and found the kitchen. Why was his home so tidy? She pulled out a cold water bottle and put it on where she hit him. Oh.

"Why aren't you wearing a shirt?"

"I was sleeping, when I said talk to you tomorrow I meant at like one pm not - bloody hell swan - three am,"

"It's important!" Emma said snapping her fingers in his face. "I have terms!"

"To the marriage? Sure whatever you want," Killian opened the water bottle and took a gulp of water.

"You have to meet my family-"

"What- no! Are you crazy?"

"No- Killian, this is perfect, you get money, I get money, Neal gets to fucking die-"

"Who is Neal?"

"Killian! Listen to me! He's not important! What's important is that the mole rat that he is-"

"You are scaring me Emma what is going on?"

"Look, Killian, Henry's Dad is getting engaged and he's - he's - he's a swearer rat! and I just need to see him hurting for - and it would get my entire family off of my back too and it would explain to the government why we wanted the wedding to be so quick!"

"Okay, Swan, what are you suggesting?"

"We tell them that you are Henry's dad and that-"

"Are you crazy?" Killian was trying to figure out what the bloody hell was going on with her.

"Look - I don't think you'd understand - but this would just make everything easier-"

"For who?" He interjected.

"For him!" Emma realized she was shouting.

"Okay, fine," Killian sighed "for the boy."

Emma took three steps forward and gave him a hug. Quick and fast. "Thank you," she told him.

"When this is all over what do we tell him?"

"You'll visit him on weekends and stuff, but I wouldn't hold you to that-"

"Swan, stop worrying about everything. Go home. Call your parents, tell them we are coming to..?"

"Storybrooke, Maine,"

"and that we are getting married."

hi


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

"Mom!" Emma smiled as her mother picked up the phone she only had to call her, like, four times.

"What's up sugar bug?"

"I need to talk to you about something important,"

"Do you need me to call your dad," she inquired then hollard "DAVID!" In Emma's ear.

"Why not?" she mumbled and sighed

To say she was nervous was an understatement. She hated lying to her parents. They were so, how do you say it, peppy and Emma was, well, not.

"What's up baby girl?" Her dad asked and she took a deep breath and thought about why she was lying and scheming and marrying some random guy. Henry. Everything she did was for him. Moving to New York and staying there was for him to get away from the toxic town of storybrooke that she was living in when Henry was three was a risky move, but she couldn't live somewhere where she was always going to be 'that girl who got herself knocked up' and that's not the kind of labels you want you child to have to deal with.

"I want to talk to you about Henry's father." Emma held her breath and let it sit in her stomach.

"What about him?"

"He's back, in the picture, I mean."

"Oh." Her mother said and she could picture her parents making gestures at each other and shoving the phone to each other's ears. "We thought you didn't know who he was."

"I lied," Emma told them and she was telling the truth she knew exactly who the father was but she couldn't keep the shame. "I was scared and I had left him by then,"

"You broke up with him?"

"Before I knew I was pregnant yes," Emma was lying through her teeth but it was for Henry.

"Does Henry know ?" Her dad spoke up finally.

"No, he, uh, we, are a little worried about that you see we have been, um, talking for over a year-"

"Emma!" Her mother exclaimed giving her the reaction she wanted.

"Well not just talking, um, other stuff too."

It went silent.

"Like what kind of other stuff," Dads voice was the kind he used when disciplining her and her brother as kids.

"Like we were dating, for a year, and now we aren't dating anymore,"

"What?" Her mother gasped and Emma had to bite her lip to stop from laughing. She felt horrible about lying, but her mother was so dramatic.

"Sorry, I phrased that wrong, we're engaged."

"Emma! That's fantastic! I'm so happy for you guys!"

"Yeah sweetie," her dad said and was he crying? "I'm a bit disappointed I never got to meet him before you made up your mind about him being the one, but I'll meet him soon I suppose?"

"Like how soon?" Emma tried to sound excited.

"Like as soon as possible give us a few days in advance and please tell Henry that - what's his name Emma?"

"Oh it's Killian!"

"Don't forget to tell Henry about Killian!" Mom told her trying to be stern but she could hear her grin through the phone.

"Bye, I love you,"

"I love you too mom, dad," she told them but it felt like a punch in the gut.

Later she texted Killian and told him in exact words to "get your ass into my apartment so we can tell my son that you helped birth him"

His reply: "k"

she wondered why she even bothered being funny.

Emma sat down beside Henry on the couch and put her arm around him pulling him into her chest like when he was younger, now he was all big he didn't like to do this as much but she was going to take it. She brushed the hair out of his face and pressed a light kiss to his head.

"Henry how would you feel if our family became a bigger family?"

"Are you thinking about marrying Killian? Because if you are - mom I'd be totally supportive of you," She hated lying to Henry more then anything else in the world.

"Yeah I was, actually he asked me to marry him yesterday"

"And you said?"

"Yes, but I told him that I would ask you afterwards,"

Henry laughed. "Mom you can't just sit around and wait for me to get super old, eventually I'm going to live my own life and you shouldn't be alone while I'm not here."

She wanted to kiss him and apologize to everyone and tell them it was never real, but she made a promise to Killian, and while he didn't matter much to her her word did.

"Can't you let your mom tag along?"

"I'm going to go to fun places like Venice I can't have you tag along, it'd be weird, sorry mom," Emma kissed his head again.

"That's okay, kid, I understand,"

Then a knock sounded at the door.

"Is that him?" Henry asked "wow you people work fast!"

He didn't know the half of it.

Henry opened the door for Killian and she could just hear the conversation.

"Well hello dad," Henry said sarcastically.

"wait she told you? without me?" Killian questioned and it sounded like he was actually offended.

"What are you talking about?" Henry asked shutting the door.

"Oh. She did not tell you." Killian said following Henry into the living room where Emma was.

"Tell him," Killian told Emma as he sat down on the couch beside her.

"No you tell him,"

Henry sat down in the chair across them watching them bicker.

"Hello lad, your mother and I would like to tell you something-" Killian started but Henry interrupted.

"Mom are you pregnant?"

"What? No!" Emma exclaimed a hand reflectively going to her stomach.

"Anyways, I would just like to say that-"

"Henry, Killian is your biological father." Emma blurted and gauged his reaction. His face lit up and all of Emma's guilt about lying faded away, he was so happy. If Killian hurt her son he would die.

"That's so cool!" Henry laughed and ran a hand through his hair. "Um, but what happened? Between you and my mom? You guys are getting married, right? What changed?"

"well as you know I had you when I was young and I broke up with Killian before I knew I was going to have you and well he didn't know you existed," Emma held her breath.

"But don't be mad at your mother, she was protecting herself and you, everything she's done has been for you lad," Killian placed his hand on Emmas wrist and she felt comforted by the small gesture. She knew that he was serious. Whether it was about Henry or his money it didn't matter because Henry was happy.

"Am I supposed to call you dad now?"

"If that's what you'd like," Emma's heart melted a bit at Killian's sincere tone.

"I'm going to work on my project!" Henry said quickly and gets up then walks towards his room. Then he steps out for a second shuffling his feet, then walks up to hug Killian.

"I'm glad we could meet," Henry told him holding onto him tightly.

"Me too, lad,"

"So my parents invited us over," Emma told him putting the coffee cup in front of him and sitting down. she folded her arms and watched the hot chocolate intendedly.

"That's, um, good?"

"Yeah, I think it is. They are going to throw an engagement party if we do go,"

"And, sewer rat is going to be there I presume?"

"Is that going to be his name now?" Emma quirked an eyebrow and let out a little giggle.

"You're avoiding answering," He leaned back into his chair and rested his hands on the back of his head.

"Yeah, of course, they had no idea we were a thing, but when-"

"When?"

"Did you see Henry's face? Believe it or not, we are going to be stuck together for a very long time. And meeting my family is my side of the deal, and you have to be the picture of doting fiancee," Emma raised her finger at him. "My family won't believe that i'd settle down with some weird rude guy, so manners, and-"

"I know how to behave Swan, what you have to do is fill me in the stuff that boyfriends should know," Killian quirked an eyebrow at her and crossed his arms, signaling he was impatient with her. He didn't know the half of it.

"Okay so my family is important information right? My mom and dad are in love, like not old married couple love, like they really are still in love after all of that time they spent together and stuff. My mom is self-proclaimed love doctor, and you have to really sell it if you want her to believe that we're in love,"

"Just me?"

"I can fake being in love with someone, I used to- not important- okay so then my dad is super old-fashioned and will probably hate you because of Henry, but um, yeah moving on-"

"Wait-your family is going to hate me? For Henry? Oh my god Swan, there going to hate me!" Killian ran a hand through his hair. "After they are just going to say that you don't know how to pick men and Swan-"

"There's a reason I moved to New York Killian," Emma sighed and shrugged twisting the ring on her finger, her engagement ring. "Then theres my brother Augst who's kind of weird and will probably fight you or something, and then my sister Belle-"

"What?"

"My oldest sister Belle who my parents just adore and her husband Will and their perfect baby Kaylee,"

"I sense something else going on here,"

"Moving on to friendships-"

"Wait theres more?"

"Of course there's more I have friends!"

"Can't you just introduce me to them? Like normal couples?" Killian groaned and pouted taking a big sip of his drink.

"Normal couples talk about this stuff before they meet the family," Emma pointed out but she wasn't entirely sure.

"I'm sure we will be fine, Swan"

"I hope your right."

"So we're going on our first family trip!" Henry exclaimed kicking his feet under him as he sat on the couch.

Killian and Emma exchanged a look.

"Essentially yes," Emma allowed but she stopped the conversation from going further. "Killians going to help you pack while I call grandma and book us plane tickets, that's cool with you kid?"

"Yeah! Of course!" He smiled hopping off of the couch and motioning for Killian to follow him into his bedroom.

Henry's bedroom was small. It had dark blue walls and was very cluttered, Killian noticed. Henry extended his arms and smiled.

"This is my room," he pointed at his closet in the wall "that is my closet," his finger trailed down to the pile of clothes on the floor blocking the closets view, "that is where my clothes are, dirtiest on the bottom least dirtiest on the top," he sighed and rummaged through a stack of papers and then plopped a quarter in a half full jar.

"Least dirtiest isn't grammatically correct," he said shrugging as if that explained everything then he took the jar and rolled it onto the floor.

"Where is your suitcase?" Killian asked looking for a space with nothing covering it but not even Henry's bed was without things.

"Somewhere around here," Henry ducked pushing aside some things and looked underneath his bed. "Here!" Henry kicked out the suitcase and unzipped it exposing countless comic books and other kinds of books.

"We are going to have to pack around it," Henry decided and then Killian realized why emma thought Henry needed help.

"Okay, Henry we are actually going to use another suitcase, if your mom doesn't have one you'll borrow mine. When we come back though Henry we are cleaning this room," Killian worried if he had overstepped his boundaries but he doubted Emma would mind if her boys room was cleaned.

"But I thought you were like me?"

"Come again?"

"Mom always says that I get my messiness from my dad, and um, that's you,"

Killian hated mess with a passion. Once when he was younger his brother left his shirt in killians bedroom and he used it to attack him with it. Killian hates clutter. He probably would still attack Liam if he tried to mess his apartment up.

"Oh, that was your mother being, your mother, you know how she is," Killian tried but felt like he was betraying emma somehow.

"So-" a pause "are you going to ask mom if she has an extra suitcase?"

"Yeah, and where clean clothes are."

"That pile."

"Then I'm teaching you how to use a laundry machine."

Henry groaned loudly and flopped himself on his bed. "You're no fun!"

Killian let out a soft chuckle before venturing outside of the room and into Emmas room. The door was shut so he knocked softly calling out to her.

"um, just, wait," rummaging noises "okay, just, what do you need?"

"A suitcase for henry,"

"What did he use his suitcase for this time?"

"Books."

She laughs and then zips up her suitcase pulling her top over her face and squeezing into her jeans.

"Figures," the door swings open and Killian jumps back sending emma a dirty look when she chuckles. She tosses him a suitcase and then throws hers in the front hallway.

When they land in Maine Emma can't stop smiling. Killian noticed it when they landed. While she usually wore a face of indifference (and sometimes stress) Killian saw her face light up and he thinks it suits her. Not that he was paying much attention to her face. Or any other part of her.

Their suitcases rolled behind them and Killian tried his best not to smile at Emma who seriously should be smiling more often. Henry was talking about how excited he was about everything and he was asking questions like "do you think Grandpa is going to let us have separate rooms now that Killian's here?" and Killian could feel the panic bubbling up inside of him.

It was one thing to think about doing all this and another to actually do it.

His heart rate was picking up and he was getting all sweaty, which was fitting. If he was Emma's actual fiance and father to her child, Killian was sure he'd be panicking now as well.

A warm hand snaked its way down to where Killians was. It's fingers brushing his wrist sending shivers up his arm and then trailed down to his hand grasping it. His breath caught in his throat. Pull it together, he reprimanded himself. He looked up at Emma and smiled. She held his hand because thats what couples do, not any other reason obviously.

"Don't be too worried, i'm sure you'll be able to charm them," Emma reassured him with a warm smile. "The lord knows you charmed me really fast, and I doubt my family won't,"

It was sincere, Killian noted. Check for real.

They turned the corner and both Henry and Emma started picking up speed, Emma almost dragging Killian along.

He really needed to pick up his feet Emma thought and kept dragging him along.

Then she saw her parents. Smiling and waving with a stupid pink sign that read family. Emma let go of Killian's hand and started running beside Henry and they were both wearing matching grins. Emma wrapped her arms around her mom first and pressing a kiss to her cheek. Then she moved on to her Dad and was hugged so tight it was hard to breathe. When she pulled away Emma noticed Killian standing there awkwardly watching and she did her best not to laugh. He was kind of adorable with a blush on his face, Emma thought but then quickly dismissed it.

"This is Killian," She said pointing at him and then awkwardly placing her hands down. David stepped forward first biting out a 'nice to meet you' and shaking his hand in a manner that suggested they were not friends. Then mom came over to give him a hug.

They piled into the police car and Emma sent Killian a tight lipped smile as she sat beside him. Quickly she realized they were not going to fit in the back seat if Henry joined them, and because he had nowhere else to sit, he did. Emma sat closer to Killian who quickly moved his hand so that she wasn't sitting on it. Henry started talking about something to her parents, but Emma wasn't listening so much as feeling every inch of her body that was pressed against his.

Their thighs were touching, her jeans rubbing against his leather pants. Her shoulder was shoved into his armpit and their faces were so close his breath was going on her neck. She was digging her fingers into the leather seats to keep her from shivering. What was wrong with her?

It was going to be a long car ride.

Killian and Emma piled out of the car quickly, tumbling over each other to try and get out of that awkward position. Henry was still talking when they got out of the car so this went unnoticed by Emma's parents, thankfully.

"Why are we here?" Emma questioned nervously

"Why are we at Granny's?" Emma questioned raising her eyebrows in suspicion. After seeing her parents guilty glances she muttered "this is great. Fucking peachy."

Killian placed a hand on her forearm.

"What's going on?" he asked his breath tickling her ear. Emma looked up at him and sighed.

"They threw a welcome home party," Emma run her hands through her hair and shrugged. "Ready to meet my family?"

"Better now than never."


End file.
